Finally, the week when I felt like somebody had pressed the pause button on my life comes to an end…
That said I’ve decided to do a re-post reason being that I recently realized that the issues that inspired quite a number of my posts when I started doing this[blog] are still the same ones that I still dealing with at the moment.Somehow,writing gives me a temporary high, relief if you want and yet I thought that with time they[‘the issues’] would disappear , and I would have new ones to deal with. Shock on me.
Having grown older, I’m ‘dealing’ differently with matters such as the one I’m about to re-post, because of a whole different perspective on things but the effect they have on me never changes. Maybe I haven’t learned my lesson yet.
Having read a few posts that I did last year and my diary, and yeah I still keep a diary,came to the conclusion that its been quite a while since I was ‘happy’ with myself or how things were turning out, or the direction everything was taking, and carefree[or almost] as someone my age should be. Entry after entry, post after post, what I’m hearing is that I’ve in this rut for a long while now.
I should be doing juvenile things that people my age do and enjoy, but it seems that I’m stuck in this cycle. Maybe I’ll blame this on being brought up to worry about my future since I can remember.No time to be immature and careless there, don’t you think?
Anyways, enough ranting….here’s the post
April 29, 2009
Its drawing the life out of me….slowly.
Each day I discover something else is gone.and as much as I try to clutch to whatever is left,It slowly and gently pulls it out of my grip.All I can do is watch as my life is taken away from me.
Everything I have struggled to have for this moment, everything I denied myself to have is being grabbed from my grip.
As much as I’m trying to keep a positive attitude, my strength is running out.
and I don’t know if I can hold out for much longer.
